This is the transcript of a podcast episode, if you prefer to listen, you can do so here.
One the things that Lynne Azarchi mentioned in her interview earlier this week is the importance of reading to kids as a way to build empathy.
I love to read and I really always have. Reading is kind of a solitary activity, but I also have so many memories of reading connecting me with others. When I was a kid, my friend Rosie and I used to have reading playdates. She’d invite me over and say, “Bring your book!” We’d sit leaning on each other, back to back, as we poured over our books and we’d share the interesting or the funny parts, then dive back into the reading. Later, my wife and I met in law school at UVA and she graduated before me and moved to California, so we had these two years of long distance across the country. We’d spend hours on the phone and one of the things we did is read the Harry Potter books aloud to each other. That’s the first way I read them, was over the phone with Susan. And then of course, I’ve had so many wonderful moments reading aloud with my kids. One of my favorites was when we did a long road trip up to Maine from DC and along the way I read aloud to rest of the family Terry Pratchett’s Tiffany Aching series. It’s so funny. The NYT Book Review called it “Celtic mythology fused with the girl power of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” The most fun part was that some of the characters have a Scottish accent and Pratchett wrote it to emphasize that so I was encouraged in the reading to try out my own Scottish brogue, which my kids find hilarious. Years later, any of us can say a line from those books and the rest of us will crack up laughing.
So I’m already on board with the idea of books bringing people together, and then I loved the point that Lynne Azarchi made which is that reading with kids actually strengthens their empathy. When you share a story and talk about what’s happening—the choices the characters made and what happened because of those choices, we’re teaching them about how to be in the world themselves. It helps them to understand what people’s motivations are, and what are good, caring choices to make and what are not. As kids get older, reading on their own helps in a similar way. I know a lot of people are concerned about books exposing kids to things that might seem inappropriate—school shootings, eating disorders, sexting, but these are topics that they’re already thinking about and on which they’re going to be making choices, maybe before we may realize it. If they can explore that world safely—see what happens when people make certain choices, that teaches them things without having to experience it themselves.
In terms of sensitivity to others’ experiences and to differences between us, every book is a whole new world. We see in the story that a kid who has a very different background than us, who maybe lived a hundred years before us, has some of the same fears and desires, and so we see, right there in front of us, that we aren’t very different at all in the ways that really matter.
There have been some incredible studies on the power of reading to enhance empathy, and it’s not just with kids. Reading helps us, too. A pretty extensive study at the New School in New York City had adults read excerpts of genre fiction, literary fiction, nonfiction, or nothing at all, then had them take a test that measured their ability to infer and understand other people’s thoughts and emotions. What they found is that when people read genre fiction or nonfiction, or didn’t read anything, there was no effect on their test results, but when they read literary fiction, their test results improved significantly. The researchers concluded that because literary fiction focuses on the psychology of characters and their relationships, it prompts readers to think about the characters’ intentions and motivations, and that psychological awareness carries over into the real world. They also found that deeper understanding of people’s experiences undermines prejudice and stereotypes, and helps us to understand people who are different from ourselves.
My love of reading has also caused me to be a notorious book pusher, so I’m also going to recommend some books to you. These are literary fiction, so they are guaranteed to boost your empathy—those researchers at the New School promised. First, Lynne mentioned The True Story of the Three Little Pigs, written by Jon Scieszka, illustrated by Lane Smith, which tells the three little pigs story from the wolf’s perspective. Grendel by John Gardner is an adult book that does something similar, telling the Beowulf story from the monster’s perspective, and it’s a gorgeous book.
Other favorites include: Jazz by Toni Morrison; The Life of Pi by Yann Martel; The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak; A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara; Bel Canto by Ann Patchett; and A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles.
If you want a quick read, two novels in verse that blew me away are The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo and Jason Reynold’s Long Way Down. You can read each of them in an hour, and you’ll come away better for it.
Finally, if you’re someone who doesn’t have time to read, audiobooks are great, too, and you can listen while you’re on a run or doing the dishes or driving or whatever else you need to do. The Book Thief, which I mentioned above, is a fantastic audiobook.
It’s worthwhile to make the time—increased empathy helps you in so many ways. It makes you a better leader, a better co-worker, a better friend, a better spouse. And these books are a joy in themselves. Have fun with them.