Let’s be clear, it was a trainwreck. We are losing more Americans than we did on 9/11, every single day. Environmental disasters, political upheaval, financial ruin, violent racism carried out by the institutions we’re supposed to rely on for safety. It’s been awful. But not everything about it has been awful. Before we say goodbye to 2020, I have a few things for which I’d like to say thank you. 

1. TV shows. This was the year of Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Originals, Disney+, and more. Quarantining would have been a lot tougher without them. Some of my favorites include Endeavour, Schitt’s Creek, and Money Heist.
2. Reading. I’ve read so many fantastic books this year. I discovered that there is a mystery series starring a detective who lives in the French countryside, is a fantastic cook, and coaches rugby! It’s like it was made for me! Right now I’m listening to Obama’s new book and I just started Crime and Punishment, which I’ve wanted to read for decades. I really loved Melinda Gates’s Moment of Lift and The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. I also enjoy pouring over cookbooks and I got a few fabulous ones for Christmas—Poilane and Ina Garten’s new one, Modern Comfort Food. 

3. Remote dinner parties. We started a supper club more than a decade ago with five couples, who became five families. Then one family moved away, and then a second did, and the quarterly suppers became more like annual ones. This year it occurred to us that we could continue those supper clubs over Zoom. We make our own meals, then meet up for a long chat as we eat. Kids wander through. It’s been delightful. Why did we never think of that before? Similarly, I’ve done remote cocktails and remote teas. So many of my closest friends live far away, and it’s been fantastic to connect with them remotely.
4. My dog is so happy. The walks! The cuddles! The ball throwing in the yard for an afternoon break! I don’t know how he’s going to handle it when everyone goes back to in-person school and work.

5. Firepits. The coronavirus has forced in-person socializing out of doors, and our star in that is the trusty firepit. There’s something primal about it—the scent, the crackle, the flames. It’s entrancing. We’ve roasted marshmallows, cuddled in blankets, talked for hours, and drunk plenty of wine beside that warm glow.
6. Online yoga. I’ve done so many yoga classes over the years, but honestly, in-person yoga is not the best for me. I find yoga to be pretty personal. It’s about connecting with myself, and the energy of a yoga class tends to interfere with that. And frankly, I usually miss about 20% of the classes due to scheduling conflicts or general laziness. This was the year I realized that online yoga is absolutely fine. My local yoga studio has online classes, live and taped. I’ve also done 30-day challenges with Adriene and like the flow of those over the month (or longer) that I do them. 
7. Peonies. And roses and snapdragons and flowers in general, but mostly peonies. In May, I went with the kids to a local garden that had a riot of my favorite flower, thousands of blown-out, luscious-smelling, show-off peonies. One of the pictures my daughter took that day is now hanging in our house so I can enjoy it all year round.

8. Games. We’re playing Uno and Yatzee and Werewolf, and the kids are into video games like Among Us and Animal Crossing and Splatoon. I’ve got an unhealthy addiction to the app Two Dots. The slower pace and the time indoors has led to some fun and sweet moments. 
9. The kids are sleeping more. Remote learning has its challenges, but I do love that the kids can roll out of bed at 8:45 and be in class by 9:00. 
10. Baby Yoda. Yes, I know he has some other name, but he will always be Baby Yoda, and he will always break open my heart just a little.

10. The helpers. Mr. Rogers famously said that in times of disaster, we should look for the helpers. There have been so many this year. From the incredible, heroic efforts of health care workers to the rise in charitable giving to the school food drives, we have seen the best in humanity rise up when we are at our lowest.  
11. Covid pets. I love all the new puppies in my neighborhood and on my Facebook feed. After three years of pleading, we gave in about three days into quarantine and got our daughter a pygmy hedgehog. Her name is Pixie. 

12. Not getting on airplanes. I used to fly at least once a month. I got sick almost every time. I missed my family. I had to do a ton of work beforehand and afterward to make up for the time away. On a regular basis, there would be a missed or cancelled flight and then hours of time to rectify that. I thought of it as a necessary evil. And now, maybe not so necessary? My wife’s law firm is saving $5 million a month on travel costs right now. And it’s fine. Productivity is up and they’re ahead of budget. We can still go to conferences, have meetings, take depositions, appear in court, without flying all over the place. It’s better for the environment, it’s a heck of a lot cheaper, and it saves so much time. 
13. Family time. Our kids are 14 and 12. This is the time when they’re normally out of the house almost as much as they’re in it. Instead, right now we’re together. I’m getting to spend this difficult time with the people I love the most, and I am so, so grateful for that.
14. Kayaking. And hikes. Time in the woods has been a savior for me this year.

15. We picked the president who stuttered over the bully. No matter what you think of the policies of the different candidates, it’s pretty clear that one is a lot more empathetic than the other. I am so grateful that we will have a leader who specializes in kindness and listening to see us through this next phase, and that we as a nation decided that was what we wanted.
16. The first woman of color vice president. I am over the moon to see that glass ceiling sparkling in tiny shattered pieces at our feet. 
17. Cooking. I admit a bit of a love/hate relationship with this one because man, so much cooking, but I do love that this year we stopped ordering pizza every Friday and now we’re making it at home, exactly the way we each like it (for me, pesto with prosciutto and goat cheese). My daughter makes popcorn on the stovetop almost every day. I’ve made sourdough bread, of course, and lots of soup. Cookies. Cakes.  Curries. As my beloved Ina says, “Cooking is one of the greatest gifts you can give to those you love.” And that includes yourself.

19. The arts online. I have been stunned at the creative way artists have responded to the shutdowns. One of my favorites this year was the DC Gay Men’s Chorus Holiday Concert. I also loved this Princess Bride reenactment. My kid even participated in a Zoom middle school play, which meant that every one of her grandparents was able to see her perform, for the first time ever. 
20. I finished my book. It comes out in February 2021, but 2020 will always be the year I finished and sent off to the publisher my first book. 

Not bad, right? I’m sure you have some of these on your list, and others that I don’t have. I’d love to hear your discoveries from 2020, the new favorites and the things that came back to you this year. And as always, I am grateful for you, for this community of friends. Thanks for sharing this time with me.