I recently attended the funeral of a man who had been a supervisor in a large company. The service was Quaker, so attendees were invited to speak if we chose to. One of the few Black people in the mostly White crowd soon stood from the table of work colleagues. He shared that he had come to the United States from Ethiopia many years earlier, and the deceased had been assigned as his mentor. On his arrival as a young man in his twenties, thousands of miles from his home and everyone he knew, his new mentor greeted him in his native language. The mentor knew a bit about Ethiopia’s current events, its landscape, and its history, and wanted the young man’s thoughts about all of these. The mentor could speak about these things not because he was particularly worldly or knew many Ethiopians. He could speak about them because he had studied them. And he had studied them because his new mentee was Ethiopian, and he wanted to understand him better and to help him feel welcome and valued.
Cultural humility is the concept that while we may never be truly proficient in the culture of another, we can approach other cultures with curiosity and an effort to understand. It’s an ongoing process, a lifelong commitment, to learning. To me, it’s a joyous concept, and a freeing one—I don’t have to be an expert in everything, but instead merely should meet new people and situations with a desire to listen and understand.
It’s also a key to leading with empathy. When we approach people with humility and curiosity, they are more likely to open up, to share their experiences and perspectives, and to feel valued—all of which enhances their wellbeing and the team’s success. Here are a few ideas on developing your cultural humility.
- Recognize.
The first step is simply to recognize that our own perspective is unique to us, and that others have different perspectives. We are surrounded by people with backgrounds and experiences different from our own—and aren’t we lucky? That diversity adds needed viewpoints, enriches our own experiences, and makes our lives fuller and more interesting. We don’t know all of the backgrounds and perspectives of those around us, and never could. Each interaction, though, that gives us a glimpse into another culture, adds meaning to our lives and brings us closer to those around us. Thus, the initial goal is just to notice those around us with an understanding that their backgrounds and experiences are different from ours, and we have a lot to gain from understanding them better.
2. Learn.
Next, take affirmative steps to learn about other cultures. If there is a person on your team with a background that you don’t know much about, find out more. In particular, seek out first person narratives from those of that culture or experience. There is a wealth of resources in the world today that will help you learn about backgrounds different from your own. These include:
- Podcasts (like Code Switch)
- Books (like Know My Name by Chanel Miller)
- Movies (check out this list of documentaries)
- Blogs (like Disability Scoop)
- TV shows (like Reservation Dogs)
3. Ask.
I used to work with a woman whose religion barred celebration of holidays. I generally gave holiday gifts to my coworkers and puzzled over what to do for her. Give her a gift and hope it didn’t offend her? Give a gift to everyone except her and hope that didn’t offend her? Finally, I just asked. She was gracious and kind. She said, “As long as the gift isn’t a Christmas present but is an expression of thanks for my work throughout the year, that is absolutely fine.” I was so relieved! That was something I could do. Her potted plant that year included a white ribbon and a general thank you card. Even if we’ve done our research, each individual has their own expression of their culture, as well as their own needs and desires. Be willing to ask and listen.
4. Seek.
Seek out people who are different from you. Chat with the person in line ahead of you or sitting next to you on the subway. Go out for lunch with a coworker you don’t know well. Look for opportunities in your community to build connections across cultural divides. Interwoven Congregations, for instance, supports partnerships between pairs of diverse faith communities. Consider volunteer efforts that will give you a glimpse of another’s experience, like supporting a refugee or bringing meals to those who are homebound. Use opportunities to listen to others’ experiences. You never know what connections you’ll build and new insights you’ll gain from a conversation.
Conclusion
When we approach people with a desire to learn and understand them, we build strong bonds of trust that enhance well-being and success, for the organization and for the people in it. It certainly seemed to work for the Ethiopian man at the funeral. He’d stayed at that same company for more than two decades and was now a successful leader in his own right—one who never forgot his mentor’s efforts to know him, so many years before.