A recent series of studies led by Harvard Business School professor Julian Zlatev showed the importance of acknowledging others’ difficult emotions at work, finding that participants were more likely to trust coworkers who acknowledged their feelings, especially negative ones.
The researchers noted that “While managers view emotional support as committing an act of kindness outside their managerial role, employees, on the other hand, see it as an integral part of a manager’s job.” In addition, they found that, “Preliminary data…also suggests that emotional acknowledgment boosts feelings of belonging and inclusivity.”
I’ve seen firsthand the power of acknowledgement. I also know that it is not very common. We want to solve problems and are too quick to jump to pat solutions rather than simply acknowledging that someone is facing hardship. When someone shares something difficult with you, try to avoid responses that either deny (“I’m sure it’ll all work out for the best”) or distract (“My sister went through the same thing. Let me tell you about her”) from what they’ve shared.
Instead, aim for a response that simply acknowledges their story. Some good options:
-“I’m sorry about everything you’re going through.”
-“That sounds awful/scary/frustrating.”
-“Thanks for letting me know.”
Finally, remember that it’s not always your job to fix the problem. Simply acknowledging their experience can often be the most powerful way to help.