“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” -Ian Maclaren
Earlier this week, I was sitting in my pajamas drinking my tea at 8am when I got an alert that someone had joined my Zoom meeting and was waiting for me. Damn! I ran to my office while trying to pull myself together and figure out how I’d messed up. I quickly glanced at my calendar and realized the meeting participant was a week early–we were supposed to meet next week. I was indignant. I didn’t mess up! She did! I’m not supposed to be running around feeling like a jerk!
Well, I thought, I’m here now. I got on the call and said, in a bit of a huff, “We’re actually supposed to be meeting next week, but if you’re ready now, I can go forward.”
I should mention that I have an open meeting invitation on my website, so anyone can sign up, and I’m often meeting strangers with no sense of what they want to discuss. This woman looked a little tired. She said, “Yes, I can go forward.”
She had left Ukraine three weeks earlier, it turned out. She was now safe in Australia, but her husband and her home were still in Ukraine. She heads a nonprofit that supports families in grief and wanted ideas on how to help the Ukrainians now spread across the world and dealing with unspeakable loss. Ukraine is 30, 40 years behind the U.S. and Australia on mental health, she said. What should I do? How do I help people?
She seemed very professional and put together. She didn’t seem like she needed support herself, but I started, as I always do, by acknowledging her. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “What a horrible time.” She’d found me through my HBR article–she’s reading the Harvard Business Review in the midst of all she’s going through! And supporting others and reaching out to strangers to learn how to do it better. Pretty incredible, and I told her so. She cried just a little, and laughed just a little. I shared some resources with her and told her to reach out anytime.
Toward the end of the call, she admitted she was a little tired. It was 10:30pm her time. She’d stayed up late to talk with me. And I thought–I almost missed this. I almost missed her. All because I was focused on myself and having to do a call in my pajamas and without sufficient caffeine. We don’t know what those around us are going through. We don’t know what gifts each moment brings. I almost missed it this time, and I’m so glad I didn’t.